Sophie Chen: Provoking Women To Succeed
“Know your worth. Don’t get in your own way and sabotage yourself.”
Sophie Chen lives by her own mantra. She built a career – and let her voice be heard – in the male-dominated hospitality and casino business long before ‘empower women’ became a rallying catchphrase. She bet on herself, rising above work biases against women, and reaped success on her own terms. Now she’s positively provoking women to take the leap and be fearless in creating their own story.
After over two decades nurturing a career in the cutthroat world of hospitality and casino in Switzerland, the USA, Malaysia and Macau, Sophie has transitioned into coaching women to speak up and fight for their place in predominantly male-occupied fields. She is taking the lessons she learned on the job to help women face their fears in order to flourish in their professions.
“Women in hospitality, F&B, and casinos struggled. Women were given lesser tasks, were disrespected, and I’ve also seen sexual harassment amongst my peers,” she said.
The relocation from Macau to Singapore in 2021 with her husband was the catalyst to set up Leap With Sophie Chen, a leadership and executive coaching for women. The move made her reflect and decide to pursue something more inspiring, motivating and no doubt humbling by coaching women who are looking for a boost in stepping up on their career ladder, or those who want to find new positions in pursuit of happier, more satisfying occupations.
Why not explore unchartered territories? Why do we need to impose self-limiting thoughts upon ourselves, instead we can challenge ourselves? In the end we never know what we can or can’t do.
Our roles do not have to be defined by our gender, nor should we let our gender dictate our roles.
Sophie has mentored a number of high-performing individuals, and is currently working with leaders who are passionate about living in alignment with their values and are committed to status quo. Personal and professional development through greater self-awareness and self-reflection is pivotal for leaders.
I met up with Sophie on a cloudy day over coffee. Spending the afternoon with her was like having a casual yet meaningful conversation with my best girlfriend giving unfiltered advice. She is positive, encouraging, and strongly opinionated (in a good way). At the end of our first encounter, I was thinking: “We all need a Sophie in our lives. Any close friend of hers is lucky to have her by their side.” Let me share parts of our conversation.
On challenges working women face
Sophie: Overcoming perfectionism. Women put undue pressure on themselves by striving for perfectionism. Rather, we should strive for excellence, as perfectionism is unrealistic. Perfectionism is like a destination whereas excellence is more of a journey. As long as you are constantly improving yourself and the you today are better than the you yesterday, it is an achievement.
One client, who had a new leadership role, was overwhelmed by the new role and workload. To make it worse her stress level was amplified by the pandemic. Rather than delegating and leading, she did the work of her team because she expected the quality of the work to be perfect. We had to unpack all the reasons behind why things have to be perfect and what being perfect meant to her. More importantly, what was the worst thing that could happen if things were not perfectly done? That conversation created a shift in her thinking and it helped her move forward so she could delegate effectively.
Another client was a perfectionist, and she believes that she is not completely ready for her next role (and she was). She wanted to garner a few more years working in the same position; only then would she be confident enough to put her hand up for a promotion. And to make things worse, her male counterparts have no qualms putting their hands up for a promotion even when they are clearly not ready. See the difference?
Women have the mindset to sometimes think: “I’ll wait for the perfect job or wait for the perfect man” rather than just living in the moment.
Another challenge is imposter syndrome. Those who think … “I’m not enough” or “I’m not worth it” or “I’m not ready” or even “I’m too old, or too fat. I don’t belong. I don’t deserve it.”
Be your own advocate. Don’t get in your own way and sabotage yourself.
Sophie with book author Heather Hansen
My response to that: Why not explore unchartered territories? Why do we need to impose self-limiting thoughts upon ourselves, instead we can challenge ourselves? In the end we never know what we can or can’t do. And this is the point where I provoke clients to articulate their strengths, and amplify their voices. We need to speak up! We need to be outspoken, increase visibility and showcase our potential. A case in point is when women take maternity leaves, many are faced with this challenge of having to prove themselves [again when they return to work].
Another issue is procrastination, or the “art of consciously delaying things”. Some master this art more skillfully than others… what I learnt is that reasons hardly lie within the realms of lack of skills or motivation or the mountain of distractions. The true underlying reason for procrastination floats around the ‘Sea of the Unknown’ [as illustrated by Gemma Correll]. The fear of the unknown scares the living daylights out of us. This is where all the ‘What ifs’ creep in. If that sounds like you, I invite you to reflect on these questions: What are you avoiding? Are you scared of the process or the result? What is the worst possible outcome that could happen? What could happen if you continue to ignore the situation?
‘Sea of the Unknown’ by Gemma Correll
Optimistic about working women in Singapore
Sophie: The government and certain organisations champion for a better future. There are proper initiatives in place. Women own one-fourth of businesses, and a third of leadership roles are female. Despite a patriarchal culture mindset in Asia, our roles do not have to be defined by our gender, nor should we let our gender dictate our roles.
The future of women in the workplace
Sophie: Education is key. Teaching young children to respect all genders, and to stop saying lines like “It’s not for girls” is a key for a society to continue flourishing.
Advice for career women
Sophie: Be enough. Know your worth and know when to walk away when your worth is not appreciated. Learn when to say NO. Don’t get in your own way and sabotage yourself. Be better today than yesterday. Compare yourself to where you were, to values and goals instead of comparing yourself to someone else. Comparison is a thief of joy and breeds resentment.
Speak up. It can be overwhelming for many of us and it takes a heck lot of effort to be courageous. I know because I was once in those shoes. I wish someone had held my hands when I was going through this stage. If I can invent a courage pill I would be a millionaire. Sadly, this pill does not exist but I can share doses of courage with you:
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
Practice makes… permanent.
Be your own advocate.
Believe in your self-worth.
Focus on being respected, not being liked.
Stop apologising.
Do not ask for permission to speak. Just speak.
Self-awareness is important in your journey of overcoming your imposter syndrome but what is paramount is the actions you take to overcome it.
Listening to Sophie speak about courage, self-compassion, resilience, authenticity and purpose left a mark on me. I was provoked to reflect on “Don’t get in your own way and sabotage yourself.”
I think that there are moments when many of us become saboteurs who doubt or second-guess ourselves for many reasons. Fortunately, there’s a provocateur like Sophie who “provokes passionate and ambitious female leaders to articulate their strengths and amplify their voices.”
Karmela| ws
(Images courtesy of Sophie Chen)
You’ll find Sophie Chen on www.linkedin.com/in/sophiechencoach | https://www.leapwithsophiechen.com/ | https://www.instagram.com/leapwithsophiechen
