His Father’s Son
Not everyone grows up with a positive male role model in the household. There are, however, fortunate ones who have been privileged enough to grow up with fathers who showed them by example to live life with zeal.
Carlo Coloma is an only child. He was barely 10 years old when he and his parents moved to Singapore due to his father’s job as a foreign news correspondent, which required frequent travel. Now in his 30s and still based in the city he calls home, Carlo looks back to the years growing up with his Papa, deeply appreciative of the times shared and the lessons learned that would forever be etched in his heart.
This Father’s Day Carlo reflects on the man from whom he learned to “work hard, play hard” while staying humble, honest and guided by ethical principles.
My Dad
As much as I’d like to, I couldn’t tell you about the Bobby Coloma who had long hair, wore bell-bottoms, and listened to Eric Clapton when Layla was still a new song.
I also couldn’t tell you about the young college student who believed in a cause so deeply that he was willing to risk his life to give the oppressed masses a voice.
After all, I wasn’t around then.
What I can tell you, however, is the story of the man who came after. The kind-hearted man who grew from an activist into a loving husband, father and friend.
It’s obviously a lot easier to say these things now, because a little age does grant some wisdom.
Sometimes it wasn’t so easy, especially when you’re going through your teenage angst and don’t actually understand how hard it is to provide a good life to your family.
Thankfully, I do now.
From as early as I can remember, my dad represented the ideal with which all family men should model themselves after. Hardworking and quintessentially responsible, he never accepted anything but the best for his family.
Sure, we never lived in a two-acre mansion, or had five cars (who needs those anyway), but we always lived a more-than-comfortable lifestyle. There was never a lack of food in the house, nor did the lights ever go out because we couldn’t pay the bills.
To add to that, I was provided with a good education, and was able to enjoy an expat lifestyle that most kids in the world could only dream of. I got to see the world, and could never be grateful enough for that.
However, for all the things that he was able to provide for me, the one thing I’ll always remember is the fact that he wanted to. Both he and my mom never made me feel guilty about the things they bought for me, and they especially never bought me anything to make up for not seeing me.
Being a little older, I can now see that my dad sacrificed a lot to provide me with a great life. After all, he missed a great deal of my childhood because he had to travel for work.
What I appreciate most, however, is the fact that I always knew that he would rather have spent some time with his family. Through all the traveling, he never let himself become distanced from us, and I’m glad for that.
I know that when I was growing up, it usually tore him apart that he wasn’t able to spend as much time with me, especially on my birthdays that coincided with the annual ASEAN Summit in July. I just hope he knows that I never took it personally, and always understood that though he’d rather be with me on my birthday, he had to work to provide.
Extremist?
In his life outside work and our family, my dad is no different.
One of the things that took me a really long time to understand was why he always seemed hyperactive, and wanted to do anything and everything.
Then, as the last few years have gone by, I came upon a realization. My dad’s love of life is so great, that he’d never have the strength to keep it bottled up inside.
He really embodies the “work hard, play hard” principle, and I think that’s one of his most endearing qualities. It doesn’t matter if it’s playing tennis, cycling, or photography – he can’t do anything half-assed. He has to push himself to his limits.
As many people will also attest, he is the most loyal type of friend, who will not bat an eye to help you if he had the means to do so.
I wish I could say the same thing about myself, but hell, he even outdoes my partying when he goes back to Manila and sees his old boys from the neighborhood!
I can only hope that he’ll never change, because that would be a tragedy. A Bobby Coloma who didn’t put his all into anything he pursued would not really be the man that so many love and admire.
Perhaps one day I’ll find the passion within me to live life like he does. Until then, I can at least enjoy feeding off his energy.
Humility
For all his exploits, I’ve yet to hear my dad boast about anything (except thrashings he gave mates on the tennis court).
This is another thing I didn’t understand when I was a bit younger, especially since I knew (through stories from others) about just how remarkable a person my old man was.
Even when he became a Chevalier* for his contributions to journalism, he never seemed to let it get to his head.
I now realize that this is because he finds far more glory in committing the deed, instead of talking about it. This is an admirable quality that can be found in few people, and one that I feel really separates him from the rest. He does not define himself by the praise other people give him (though I’m sure it feels nice), but instead gets his self-affirmation from within.
Live your life to the fullest, but let other people talk about it. Perhaps that’s something we should all strive to do.
Carlo R. Coloma | guest contributor | ws
*On 30 June 2006, then President of the French Republic Jacques Chirac bestowed upon Roberto (Bobby) Coloma, Agence France-Presse’s Singapore bureau chief, the title of “Chevalier” in the Ordre National du Merite (National Order of Merit) for his professionalism and dedication to objective journalism. Bobby’s colourful AFP career spans nearly four decades. The National Order of the Legion of Honour is the highest French order of merit, both military and civil. AFP is a French private international news agency headquartered in Paris, France.
